My Chauffeur is a
small boutique tour company offering the highest level of
luxury tour and
Our primary goal is to provide a private, relaxing, luxurious, and authentic
tour experience. And we mean REAL luxury. Our executive-class
service offers a roomy, deluxe, air conditioned party bus, limousine or town car
stocked with refreshments...
In 1998. they began with not a lot
more than a daydream and tolerable appearance. How did these two Portland
boy's grow to be the greatest tour barons in the world?
"Dig" Colby and Antoine Sekonius had been classmates for a
while. They always
wanted to start a venture together. Something unusual and exciting that would work with the
extraordinary Portland business environment. Something for the history books.
a moment of fun
with one of our chauffeur/guides
lot of searching under bridges, boulders and britches, they
discovered what they were searching for... Portland Tours!!
his stunningly gifted business acumen, and Antoine with his apparently
continuous stream of acquaintances, set out to conquer the
Greater Portland area.
And after an
encounter with some Jesters and flute players, they were ready to set up shop
in the 'underbelly' of Portland --- the Northeast!!! There was only
one dilemma, neither Dig nor Antoine had ever done tours before!
So they left
for the sunny Munich suburb of Fürstenfeldbruck, Germany, where they met up
with some tour masters, and learned about tours from the
ground up. These grisly old tour masters knew how to do it and
were hardly agreeable to hand over their secrets at first. But the charisma and
tolerable looks of our champions in time won over the tour masters, and
the secrets were revealed to them. We were surprised when one of them
said, 'hey Antoine, strap this one on' referring to the 'exotic' beverage
carrying tote bag used to transfer the tour refreshments from one local to another.
Oh Fürstenfeldbruck... one of the secrets of the trade, and it was a good laugh.
a lot: like how to tour guide, about how to offer a razzle-dazzle service and the proper handling of the
beer or sparkling wine glass. Also the intricacies of the gradual limo turn, and when and
when not to use such phrases as 'Hedonistic and round, characteristically
developed' when referring to the tour country & scenery. And countless
other tricks of the trade were now in the brains, hands, and notepad of Dig
and Antoine. They returned to Portland amusing the locals with tales of
Arnold Schwarzenegger busting up a tour chauffeur and saying 'If it bleeds, we
can kill it." and 'I'll be back!!'; a Banaban documentary on
Hindu Television featuring My Chauffeur; and the foolish, crazy times in
Fürstenfeldbruck Germany--opera singers, ventriloquists, Burgundian Aristocrats, a guy
who somehow kept a bunch of plates spinning atop a wooden pole,
Chinese acrobats, and dogs who climbed ladders. Oh Germany... Portland learned
of these tricks and My Chauffeur soon became the best tour company in the world,
flying in some 'Manchu’s bark/Cinchona' potions from down south and attaining
the 'bricks and mortar' of their trade, the boys started playing around
with their techniques that soon became known locally, nationally, and
years later, folks
are chatting about My Chauffeur in Somaliland and Samoa Island. China
has some trendy people wearing the latest My Chauffeur bikinis, and
companions have shared a tour tale or two off the Ivory Coast and Senegal of
all places! I'm sure some parts of the world have yet to be infiltrated. Stay watching!
On request, Dig or Antoine can
discuss with your group specific tour related topics including, but not
What are the
ancient touring techniques?
the Portland Area region region so priceless?
What is Tour
And the concept of a beer tour
Vigneron of all
Finally, on a more
serious note; we are a small boutique wine tour company
offering the highest level of luxury tour service and quality in tour and
the preceding story is fictional, and any similarity to actual persons or events
is purely coincidental.